Ooze
by NotSoSrslyBrew
Summary: Ooze is an ordinary plain blob of Ooze, he spends his days infront a TV watching ADs and purchasing unneeded items until he wins a job that turns out to be the most horrible thing that has happened to Ooze. this is all a parody, okay?
1. Chapter 1

**Firstly, this story is in no way serious AT ALL, I realize its somewhat stupid, but its just some sort of parody, that is in no way associated with where the characters we`re from originally (P.S I also don`t hate gays, I just got the idea from my friend who rages at the sight of a male). Ooze, a boring plain blob that spends his days watching Ads and buying stuff he does not need, wins a job as Darth Vadar`s assistant, but the job doesn`t turn out to be as Ooze quite expected. **

Ooze oozed his way across the kitchen and sat on the lounge chair, he turned on the T.V and watched the ADs and the ADs only. Ooze noticed one that caught his attention for a free toaster if he bought a dish washer, he picked up his phone and called the number, while he waited for it to pick up he carefully watched the T.V. "Thank you for calling, please enter your credit card number now and we will deliver your Dish Washer and free Toaster" said the lady. Ooze pushed in his credit card number and waited. "Thank you... your Dish Washer and Toaster will be delivered this week". Ooze put the phone down and continued watching. Then.. loud noises came from outside Ooze's house, he looked outside and made some weird noises. The door slammed open and broke off and Darth Vader walked in. "Ohh sorry I will.. like pay for that if you want" he said. Ooze made a few noises and oozed his way over. Darth Vader pointed at Ooze and said "Ooze... you are my... new assistant congratulations! you won the competition" he handed Ooze his free voucher for a free hamburger at Burger King and walked outside the house, Ooze followed. "Ok I got the Gummi Tie Fighter here because the sugar ones are getting repaired, now we will stop off at Burger King so you can get that Burger and we will head off to the Gummi Death Star..." Said Darth Vader, pointing towards the Gummi Space ship.

When they arrived at Burger King's Fly-Threw, Ooze handed his voucher to the person at the counter, and grabbed his burger. "Oh oh halfzies!" said Darth Vader, quite gayly. Ooze split the burger in two and handed Darth Vader one half. They flew up to Canada which now a floating space station called The Gummi Death Star. Ooze gazed into its gummi-goodness and made a weird noise. Ooze asked Darth why the Gummi Death Star was green. There was a silence for a moment. "Oh because Green is suppose to make people feel... Horny! And oh my gosh it makes me feel terribly horny" He said, excitedly. Ooze felt uncomfortable, Ooze then rang his therapist and made some noises, which was his Ooze language.

They arrived at the Gummi Death Star and got out of the Gummi Tie Fighter, and then Chewbacca walked over and greeted them. They followed Darth to the Barracks; Ooze prepared himself for a scary sight. The door automatically opened and Ooze clutched his mobile tightly. Then noticed there was a spa and lockers and nodded. Ooze walked in with Chewbacca and Darth, towards Ooze's new locker. When they turned the corner Ooze saw two storm troopers whipping each other with their towels revealing their bare ass. Ooze stared in shock. "Feeling a bit Green there Ooze?" Said Darth Vader, excitedly. Ooze looked over at Darth and shook his head in shock. "Its okay if you are, theres only men here, nothing but gorgeous men!!" said Darth Vadar. Ooze felt the need to get out of here because he wasn`t gay and didn`t want to get converted any time soon, but Ooze had a feeling he wasn`t going to be getting out of this job anytime soon. Chewbacca made a loud moaning sound and walked off, Ooze felt like following him but Darth Vadar had a tight grip on his Oozi-ness. "Come on Ooze! Lets go check out the bed rooms!" Darth Vadar said, excitedly. Ooze had a horrible feeling and was prepared to spend the rest of his life in a mental hospital.

While Ooze, Darth Vadar and a few giggling storm troopers walked to the Rooms, Ooze looked around at everyone and noticed they were all men, no wonder they were all gay he thought to himself. There were many other disturbing sights along the way that made Ooze scared that he couldn`t stay straight while being in the Gummi Death Star. When they reached the Rooms, Ooze could hear lots of loud noises and screaming, like girlish screaming, Ooze grinned at the thought of girls being here. The door they opening and there was a large group of Storm Troopers having a pillow fight, Darth Vadar pulled Ooze in and shut the door on the way in. "Wow, Can I join?!" said Darth, gayly. They all stopped and looked over, some of them started chatting amongst themselves. "SURE SURE!" yelled one. Darth grabbed a pillow and skipped over, then joined in, Ooze stared in shock and felt faint. Unfortunately for Ooze, he didn`t faint at all, but was forced to watch them have a pillow fight. Ooze realized he would have to deal with this everyday till he could escape from this horrible nightmare.


	2. Chapter 2

Today was Ooze`s first day on the job, Ooze felt nervous and a bit in shock, specially after yesterdays traumatising events. Ooze`s roommates scared him the most, they all slept together, to avoid being converted Ooze slept in the corner. He felt lonesome without the TV and the Ads, and he wouldn`t be able to purchase stuff he didn`t need… like that dishwasher or toaster, or even that foot massager. Ooze sneaked out of the bedroom, hoping no one was up or around, but there was tons of people awake. There was storm troopers washing the Gummi Tie Fighters in short shorts, this gave Ooze a chill up his ooze but he decided it was best to keep moving and try to forget the gruesome sight of men in shorts. Ooze made his way Vadar`s office, slowly as possible, trying not to witness anymore horror along the way.

Ooze prepared himself once again, though he was hoping for a more serious job, Ooze believed he couldn`t leave. The door opened and he saw Darth Vadar and other storm troopers having a serious meeting, at least by the looks of it, it put Ooze`s mind at peace and he wandered in. "Ah Ooze… _join us huhuhu_" said Vadar, creepily. Ooze shuddered and made his way over, slowly. "Yes, Ooze, were baking cookies and discussing recipes" said a Storm Trooper. "Oooze" muttered Ooze. "Oh oh, Ooze! That there is Bob, hes just fantastic at cooking!" said Darth, as gayly as always. Ooze toke a seat next to Bob and carefully watched to make sure they weren`t going to attack him. "So wheres George and those triple choc cookies?" asked Darth. Bob nodded and looked over at Ooze, Ooze felt his eyes stabbing into his ooze and shivered. "So Ooze, you single?" he said, winking. You couldn`t tell he was winking from instead the helmet.. but he was. "Ooze…Ooooze" said Ooze, telling them he was married with 21 Ooze children. Darth and Bob`s eyes widen at the thought, Ooze sighed, he thought he was finally safe from them.

George arrived with the cookies and Bob went over and hugged him, Ooze looked away as this happened, Ooze felt like he was slowly becoming against male on male relationships, or at least the ones that are going on in the Gummi Death Star. Ooze watched them giggling away and eating sweets, Ooze made noises, secret encoded noises to the International Ooze Rescuing Agency, but he couldn`t seem to reach them at this time. "Oh oh oh, Ooze you just have to try these cupcakes, their faaantastic!" happily yelled Bob. Ooze looked for a way to escape but failed too. "Oooze ooze…OOOOZE!!" yelled Ooze, he began to slowly lose his mind only after one night here. Everyone at the table sat there quietly, in shock and trying to figure out what Ooze had just said to them. "Ooze.. are you okay?" said Darth, grinning. "NO IM NOT! Ooze… ooze!" said Ooze, rolling off his chair and laughing on the floor. "Ohhh Ooze you spoke, omigod" said George. They seemed more interested in the fact Ooze spoke understandable words instead of him losing his mind.

Ooze knew from this moment on, he had to prevent them from repopulating and taking over the world which would slowly come to the end of the world once again. To do so, he would have to stay inside the Gummi Death Star and bring it down from the inside out and Ooze had a brilliant collection of female human porn to share that he brought from a late night TV AD. Ooze would now have to sabotage anything and everything he could possibly sabotage, starting with this unserious urgent meeting. Ooze slowly got up and climbed onto the table and jiggled his ooze around infront of the men, they seemed slightly excited and at the same time confused to as what was going on. "IM STRAIGHT!" he yelled, happily, Ooze never felt so happy to be straight amongst a large group of gay men, unlike the last time he pretended to be gay to fit in. The other guys gasped in shock and George started to choke of his own home made cookies, in this situation Bob had already ran over to provide some assistance. The moves he used to help George made Ooze gag and want to vomit, it was more disgusting then mouth-to-mouth between two men. "but Ooze.. I thought we had something going.. something.. _special_" said Darth, sadly yet at the same time trying to seduce Ooze, but his attempt failed. "Ugh.. ooze ooze, no way, that's gross.." mumbled Ooze, looking the other way. "Then why`d you sign up for this job if you were straight?" asked Bob, after saving George, which was unneeded in the end. Ooze hissed and glared over at Bob. "I didn't know ooze that is was for ooze GAYS!" yelled Ooze, tripping over his own ooze. Ooze picked himself up and laughed crazily as he slided off out of the room. Darth, Bob and George decided it was best to just forget what happened and to continue discussing recipes. Ooze made his way over to the railing and looked down at all the men, only men.. nothing but men with short shorts and helmets on. The sight itself made Ooze sick, but he knew he would have to do something about it.


End file.
